Reassess the situation differently and don't keep silent about what you want. You need to assert yourself. Psychologically, you are at your best! Resuming some non-physical leisure activity would be a good choice.
The atmosphere of will stimulate your creativity - don't be ashamed to express your point of view to those close to you.
You are very inclined to do the math and the amount you spend makes you lack optimism. Keep calm, first of all.
Despite sharpening your weapons in the dark, you'll do a good job. It's time for you to specialize.
You need to get over your resentments... Grudges are not good feelings and it's time to get some perspective on what you feel objectively. Take stock of things!